Busy Bride to Beeeeee!!!!… and a lesson on tact.

My Name is Stephanie and I have aweddingineightdaysandImgoinginsane-itis.  It’s a sickness. Only it’s symptoms can be treated.  Example?

Mental Restlessness-Patient should be given the Internets.  The crazy amount of information to be found on Wikipedia may or may not relax the individual. (Mad Queen Maria of Portugal anyone?)

Physical Restlessness– Send the girl to the gym for a Zumba class, failing that, make her do the Zumba Party game on Wii or xbox until worn slap out

Odd cough that doesn’t seem to come from sinus issue? Diagnosis: Acid Reflux in the Larnyx– treat with Zantac 2x-150mg

Crazy Appetite– Screw traditional eating times. Give her a cookie every now and then… seems to be only food that can go down without causing nausea or gas. Make sure the cookie is nutritious.

Desire to sit upside down in a chair?– got nothin. Just watch and clap I guess. (side note- I actually did this, see? It’s not comfortable… One needs the seat of the chair to extend for the position not to hurt the neck.)

I’m totally nervous. and going bonkers.  At least occasionally I have fun. I’m not worried about who I’m marrying, Handsome is wooooonderful. I’m just worried about all the DIY details we have in the works here. On the bright side, we have a bunch of cute things involved in this flying umbrella.  We we we so excited. (It’s Friday, Caterpillar, so nyah ;^)…)

Ok. Next topic. So I could be totally over sensitive right now, but I think people, particularly those of a certain age need to learn tact in a certain arena.

When approaching a couple who is about to get married, or who are newly wed:

PLEASE don’t ask them when they are thinking about having children. Don’t bother. It’s Nunya. As in None ya business.

Wonder to yourself. Write a blog, in a journal, talk to SOMEONE not that person. KEEP YOUR ANNOYING QUESTIONS TO YOURSELF.

Realize that it’s NONE, absolutely NONE, of your concern. And it doesn’t matter how close you think that you are to the couple, or even one of the members of said couple. YOU AREN”T WELCOME IN THEIR MARRIAGE BED. Get out before he/she rips you a new one or starts crying hysterically.(What if there’s a fertility issue, freak?)

Don’t get overly involved in someone ELSE’s uterus. You are asking a couple of people very serious personal questions. They only need to consult with each other to achieve an answer of timing and trying. You aren’t going to influence anyone over their choice.

In short…Show some courtesy and talk about other things. Food, holidays, the honeymoon location, shoot, the WEDDING (honestly, most brides and grooms barely remember that wild whirlwind of a night. Your take on their event would be fun to know.)

Oh and if you disagree with their choice, IT’S NOT YOUR CHOICE. Get over their decision.

My future spouse and I have some dear friends who are a lovely young couple. They’ve been married for two years. And they are wonderful together, they have had these two years of growth as a couple and as individuals. They are an awesome example of young marriage. People constantly nag the pair about giving birth. Birth guys. It’s hard, beautiful, lovely and terrifying. BIRTH. Making a PERSON to be raised. Babies DO NOT add a stress-free atmosphere to a family. They ADD stress to it. They are wonderful additions to a beautiful family, don’t get me wrong. I love the families that roll into church with their mini tribes. I love their human expressions of love. Babies are wooooonderful.  But they are a lot of hard work. To be a good parent, one must step up.  Leave my friends alone with your uneducated opinions. Take them to a journal or a blog.

Bite your tongue.

Your pretty opinionated,

Steph

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Posted on November 4, 2011, in Blowing the Tiara, Character Building, The Wedding. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. First of all ,EIGHT DAYS?! OMG! I’m so excited for you!

    And I second your opinion on the child birth thing. Nothing irked me more than people asking me about baby plans. I got to the point where when people asked “when” I would either say, “when the time is right” or “we want to be married at least three years first.” Both retorts were usually enough to nip it in the bud. And despite constant questioning, it didn’t deter us from waiting three years first.

    Each marriage is different and some people do want to become parents right away (which is great too). But I have to admit that I’m glad I waited three years. It gave us time to get our finances straight, buy a house and do some not child-friendly things like take vacations and go to parties. And then, we settled down and the atmosphere was perfect for Sarah.

    I try to avoid asking that question because I remember how sensitive I was about it.

  2. Lordy I hear you. I, of course, didn’t wait long to have my children, but that was MY choice. Some people don’t want kids, too! My favorite thing to say to people who nagged me about when I was having kids was:

    “Well, are you going to raise them? No? Then what does it matter to you?”

    Show stopper. That’s me.

  3. We got that a lot too. After a few years, people let up. I think maybe they thought something was wrong. We were just big believers in being together just us two, getting to know each other, before we added another person (who doesn’t see the value of nighttime sleep) into the mix. But yeah, people are nosy and opinionated on marriage and babies. Can’t wait to see you guys next week!!

  4. Amen, sister. AY. MEN.

    In my particular case, The Guy and I married later than average, so waiting a long time wasn’t an option for us, given that we’d like to have multiple children. But there’s no rush if you’re in your 20s, or hell, even if you’re 45! Conversely, it’s nobody’s business if a couple wants to have a honeymoon baby, either.

    Like you said: NUNYA!

    On a less opinionated note, I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU! And us! Because we get to look at all the pretty, pretty wedding pictures!

    Good luck, and remember: Be present.

  5. I just have to say to get used to people asking you about your decisions in your marriage. It is as if a PRIVATE personal life has never occurred to people. I still get asked those questions and my response is “not yet.” Oh, in case you didn’t get this to begin with, people just suck and are tactless.

    One of the guys at work bothered me for a week about wanting to throw me a baby shower. (Not a month after we were married.) I’m not pregnant dammit.

    However, life goes on, you brush it off and forget about it.

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