I’m baaaack- a revisit to St. Lucia

Ok… this business of being a newlywed is no joke. Especially at the busiest time of the year. I love being occupied. Poor Handsome is not very used to the comings and goings of an active gal like me. You’d think he would be, giving that we dated for two years before we were engaged, alas, he’s not. The presence of THE NEWLYWEDS is very often requested, and I LOVE it. Poor Handsome. We have to schedule do-nothing-days for him to readjust to life. I’m an attention whore seeker and he’s shy. I’m surprised he didn’t go catatonic with all the people at the wedding. Of course we had a wonderful honeymoon to look forward to… tales of which I’m finally going to share with you.

We went to the island country of St. Lucia for our honeymoon and it was fantastic, just what a newlywed couple needs after the work and stress of a gigantic wedding. We flew out the morning after we got hitched… are we crazy? Yes. His kind but always early parents brought us to the SHV airport and hour and a half before our six am flight… Ok, so this would mean we would be late at airports such as DFW, LAX, DEN, etc… at good ol’ SHV? Shreveport Regional Airport? We were approximately an hour early for check in. Shreveport’s airport is cute, functional, but verrrrry small and at six am? Nearly inactive. We were asleep on our feet, it’s a miracle we made it through all the check points and to our hotel in one piece.

Though I knew I probably looked like a ran-over dog, there were obviously other couples who looked much worse for the wear at our connecting flight from ATL. One girl still had her hair in an updo!!! Seriously? Other girls also had obvious just- got married and didn’t bother to shower- hair and make up…. My favorite was this one girl who still had feathers attached to an ENTIRE HEADPIECE attached to her HEAD. Hey, she’s never going to see these people ever again, including this amused observer, so I guess get your money’s worth girl! GET it!

Everyone who had JUST gotten married looked positively exhausted. Our Wedding weekend was the weekend of 11-11-11. I have no idea why such couples were obsessed with a bunch of ones- perhaps their favorite number?- but that meant our flight was jam-packed with young couples from all over the US.  I can only imagine the running joke with the stewardesses.  ” Betty! Betty! I have a guy with countable hickies!!!” “Oh Diane,  I’ve got full wedding hair on row 6!” “I’ve you two beat. Wedding dress with train on row 46.”

I can. Only. Imagine.

How many times do you think they’ve had to stop a couple from “using the airplane bathroom” together? Thankfully I didn’t hear any debacles of this nature during our flight. However, I WAS in a MILD coma in my seat, so Lord only knows what could have been happening.

When we arrived, we all staggered into the St. Lucia customs line. It was a loooong line. Handsome and I were nearly cross-eyed with exhaustion. We got checked in with the Sandals Resort buses and they drove us an uncomfortable 20 miles- one and a half hours across the island to the resort. I hadn’t realized our ride would be so long. 20 miles normally means 30 minutes or less to my flatlander brain. Bah. St. Lucia snorts derisively at my naivete. Mountains were everywhere. St. Lucia is a volcanic island, it’s natural beaches are more of the black rocks variety. Once we got there, the concierge service we had signed up for, whisked us away for an immediate check in- to the tunes of steel drums, clean moist towels, and a quick serving of Rum Punch. We got into our room  and were delighted by the flowers decorating the room and champagne and special services menu offered to us.  Our bags arrived and we ordered the first of many room service meals. We both passed out at around seven pm St. Lucian time- only five PM at home!

We loved the beautiful island. We went on a canopy tour of the rainforest, went snorkeling, kayaking, sailing on a catamaran, and we went on a drive- in Volcano tour. The volcano tour was more like a tour of the island with a short visit to a stinky sulfuric pipe, similar to Yosemite. The Island tour was well worth the trip. We saw THE ENTIRE ISLAND on our honeymoon. All of the water sports were on-the-property of the Resort. We even went on a walking tour of Fort Rodney through the concierge service. They promised us a surprise at the end of the tour.  While we were extremely curious as to what the surprise would be, we only thought it would be a small rum-punch or chocolate party- similar to what we had done at other evening events. NOT SO.

The whole time we were on the honeymoon, every time we left the resort we would pass the original Black Pearl from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies 1&2. Naturally, Handsome and I would try to take a picture of the ship as we zoomed past.

The walking tour of Fort Rodney was fascinating to us- we are both a little bit dorky and love a bit of history. The guide showed us the excellent view of Martinique, the French island, which he said, that on a clear day, one could see the very cars driving on the island. This meant that the top of the fort where we had climbed was excellent for the occupying British to spy on the Frenchies.  After our climb we were led to a boat where they had us sit and, yes, enjoy a bit of Rum punch. Whoo hoo!

We also had a light snack on the boat and the Captain took us out on the water. Soon, we pulled up to the big surprise. They pulled up to the harbor of the BLACK PEARL. Handsome and my cameras had both died, after all our touring of the fort and taking dramatic cliff pictures, we had two empty batteries. Not only did we have no pictures of the BP, but the Captain stopped the boat on the water for us to watch the sunset… SAD HONEYMOONERS. (We were a bit lucky that on the way home a couple who went with us on the tour spoke with us and we told them of our sad predicament, the kind lady sent us two copies of the Pirate Ship. We were so happy to receive their card.)

Overall, the island was magnificent, the food was fantastic at the resort, and the people were so very kind. Theirs is a rich, interesting heritage and they embrace it cheerfully and with a sense of humor.  They are very proud of their booming tourist trade and banana plantations. We bought some banana barbecue sauce and I have no idea when we’ll ever use it, but even Handsome liked it.

We were sad to leave the island, but we were very happy to be back in the United States. We only had about eight loads of laundry and several hours of sleep to catch up on. Changing my name was exasperation itself, but we all lived happily ever after.

If only I could get used to filling out forms with my MARRIED name!

Your reminiscent,



Posted on February 15, 2012, in Character Building, Fat Kid Moment, Handsome Prince, The Wedding. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Oh man! I wrote my name wrong all the dang time after I first got married. Now, writing my maiden name is harder than you think.

  2. What a great story (except for the exhaustion parts). I’ve always wanted to go to St. Lucia and it sounds like it’s well worth the trip. We went to the Sandals in Nassau, Bahamas for our Honeymoon and it was fantastic. We only ventured out of the resort once. I was enjoying poolside booze too much.

  3. I loved the poolside booze, but I was more crazy about the right- off-the-pool cafe… complete with fresh crepe and trifle. Another favorite of the Handsome…a trifle a day… maybe two…

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